ABOUT ME
I have a PhD in Computer Science from Carnegie Mellon University. My career has been spent designing and architecting mechanisms and applications that allow people to collaboratively work together.
At the same time, I've had a lifelong interest in counseling, and have worked through volunteer and personal growth organizations, starting with stints in my 20's as an STD counselor for the Pittsburgh Free Clinic, and as a suicide prevention counselor in Newcastle upon Tyne.
For the past 20 years, I've worked as a non-professional participant in an organization for men who want to live powerful lives, while ensuring that their egos don't get in the way of their commitment to humanity.
Like many people, I spent years trying to avoid apologizing, or making half-hearted apologies that aimed to minimize my culpability. At some point, I realized that this did not reflect my own sense of honor and integrity. So, I began making whole-hearted apologies, but found that they could sometimes go horribly wrong and even make situations worse.
Over the years, by listening, taking notes, and bringing my background in design and architecture to understanding the structure of the apology process, my apologies have generally improved, though some bad habits are hard to break.
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Now I use my experience to lead workshops and to coach individuals, especially men aiming to improve troubled intimate relationships. A book on When Apologies Go Badly is in the works.
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Contact me at ellis@apologycoach.com
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